Hi, guys. I'm a nurse practitioner at Mayo Clinic in Florida and then also Baptist Lyerly. And so as we said, we're going to be talking about guiding others. My disclosure that's not on here is I was just informed that my slides are on auto-advance, so we'll see how my timing is. So this is where I have to vamp a little bit, I guess. All right. So objectives, we're going to talk about the characteristics, which actually have been sprinkled through these other talks, and then to give some strategies as to how to improve these relationships. I can song break during the middle of this one. This is probably a lesson right here is you have to develop some humor as you're advancing through. All right. So I talked to one of my mentors about doing this talk, and I think some of you guys know Dave Freeman, and he has this like esoteric approach to everything. And he's like, oh, that's great. And then all of a sudden he said, you know, we're all just learners on the same road. And it was one of those like mic drop comments that he will just throw away that stuck with me. Because it really is true. At any point, we're all on the same path. And whether you're just starting or whether you're at the end of your career, you're all coming along that same path. And healthcare is a perfect example of this, because we have the watch one, do one, teach one. And if you look at the hierarchy of residents coming through, or somebody that's a new grad that all of a sudden becomes established, that all of a sudden is a preceptor, healthcare is a perfect setting to talk about these things. And mentorship is very unique in that it's intentional. So it's very easy to stand in this room and look around at people that you could like fangirl over. But just because you respect somebody doesn't necessarily make them your mentor. Because it is a relationship that you build, and it's bidirectional. So as somebody is coming along, even at the beginning of their career, there still could be a mentor to somebody, and then obviously have a series of mentors at different aspects of their career. And so when we start to think about who ideal mentors are, there are certain characteristics that always come out. And some of these, as I've said, have been discussed already. But one is to be self-aware, that you have to know what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are. So somebody the other day on Congress planning said, well, does anybody have any insight into this nursing OB complication? And all of us that are nursing in the room are all critical care, and we all looked at each other, and we all said, no, we know nothing about this. And you see some people will try to reach into areas that they don't actually know anything about. You have to know your limitations, because it can be really harmful to try to guide somebody in something you're not actually an expert in. You also have to acknowledge your strengths. There's a point that you start to feel maybe like you're bragging about the things that you do know about, and you kind of play down your strengths. Everyone is accomplished in something. Everybody has something that they can add to the table, and you want to be able to give that to the people that you're teaching. Something else to consider is that you have to have some vision as to where you're going. And so if you're bringing somebody along, you're not just muddling through and saying, okay, well, today, well, let's see, what do you want to learn about? We can talk about chicken entrees. You have to have some idea as to where you're going, and you have to share that as both the mentor and the mentee. And ideally, you're going the same direction, or you probably have established a relationship that isn't what you're looking for. That being said, you still have to be humble and acknowledge that, as other speakers have said, you're going to be learning from your mentee almost as much as you are from your mentor. Now, there are some negative features that we all probably exhibit at times. One subset is this, the avoiders, people that probably would be great mentors if they had the time to devote to doing it. And so these are people that, even though they have good intentions, you can never actually get with them. And so it's a lot of emails back and forth, okay, well, let's do Monday. Actually, something came up today, can we switch to Friday? If you don't have time to intentionally invest in this relationship, it's not going to work out. And just like, you know, it's January, a lot of people sign up for the gym with the best intentions of going. If you're not dedicated to it, it's somewhat of a waste. Something nursing is somewhat notorious for in eating your young, it's that sink or swim mentality. And these are mentors that say, okay, well, we did an IV yesterday and you thought you did really well with it. There's this 300-pound man over here, go on, go ahead, let me know how it goes. You want somebody that's actually going to teach you. And to set somebody else up to fail is not the relationship that you want. And we're done with that slide. Let's see if we can catch it. One of the other groups are, in addition to people that undermine you. So even though you've spent a lot of time and energy and thought you did a good job, when your mentor talks about you, you say, okay, well, you got the IV, but you know what, you used ultrasound. That's kind of a cheater method. Real nurses can do it blind. And we've heard that too, right? And then there's the micromanagers, which we can be guilty of, especially early on in mentorship relationships, that you want the person to do really well. So you start to go in there and you say, okay, well, I know you want to do it like that, but maybe do it my way instead, and this is the best way. And you never give them the opportunity to fail and learn, which as we know, that risk-taking is part of this relationship, both as a mentee and a mentor. We also want to respect energy. So we talked about the avoiders and some people being so busy that maybe they're not the best mentors. My mentors are super busy, and they're always available, it seems like, and you wonder if they have a different hours in the day than the rest of us do. But you can actually get energy from this relationship. The key is that you have to give it back. So if somebody's spending all of this time and energy to bring you along, and I think several of you have probably had where you throw a chapter towards somebody, oh, I'm going to help you write this chapter, and then you never hear back and the deadline's approaching. You say, well, how's it going? Oh, it's going great, and then you find out the day before that they haven't really worked on it. Then you're never really going to trust that person again to do that, right? So if somebody's taking their time, especially people that are busy, and you're not respecting it, then the relationship is doomed. So you want to put in equal amounts into the relationship. It's almost like you're dating, but without certain specific aspects, hopefully. All right, and this one can get dicey in terms of feedback. We're at a time that nobody really wants to hear anything other than how great they are. But unfortunately, that doesn't really bring you along, does it? So you have to ask for it, both as a mentee and as a mentor, because it's that bi-directional relationship. Like, it's very possible that after this presentation, Dr. Shutter will be like, oh, that wasn't that great. I should probably not do this again. But the difference is you have to add very constructive feedback, like, don't put your slides on auto-advance. It has to be something that's actionable, or else it's not really valuable feedback. Otherwise, it starts to feel personal. It's not taken well. You have to be able to take it, too, though. We've gotten very sensitive. If you have constructive feedback given to you, take it for what it is. It's a way for you to get better. And that's the whole point of the relationship, right, is that everybody improves. There are methods. I'm sure you guys have heard of the sandwich method. It actually does work. So your slides were very beautiful. You really messed it up with the auto thing. But the content was pretty OK. And then it is. You take it a little bit better. And you can be friendly about it. You don't want to bog somebody down. You also don't want to give too much negative feedback at one time. Pick one thing that somebody can actually work on that's objective and that is something that they can improve. And then also, public praise. If somebody did something well, promote them publicly as having done it well. Going back to our IV, wow, I can't believe you got that, and it's your second day. That's awesome. You might be a really great person to have on this team. The whole point is building relationships. And that's been a theme in every one of these talks. But it's slow. Just like dating. You're establishing trust. You start with something small. So as you're building professionally, it might be, hey, you know what, there's an opportunity to do a talk, Grand Rounds. Do you want to come and take 15 minutes and discuss this topic? They do a good job. Then you say, oh, you know what, the local chapter of SCCM is doing this talk, and this is something that you have expertise on. So I recommended you for that. They do a good job. Then nationally, they say, well, do you know any speakers that might be good at this subject? You say, actually, I know somebody. They have some experience. And that's how you get your name forward, both in local and national opportunities. But it doesn't come overnight. So just like you can't sit on program planning your first go-round, you start small and you develop that trust. Same vice versa as the mentee. You don't want your mentor to put you up for something too early that you're not ready for. You want them to actually coach you through what the appropriate way to handle the opportunity is. There are a lot of yeses at the beginning as the mentee. And then as you go on, your mentor kind of tells you where it's time to start saying no to limit opportunities. And then once you develop this, this is when you start to publicly promote each other. This is where you say, OK, I've been working with this person and this person. They've done a really good job. Do you think they could potentially get involved with this group? And that's the perfect way to advance into looking both ways. Early in your career, you kind of think you don't know anything. Well, I hope you're humble enough to think that maybe you don't know anything or there are things to learn. But there's always somebody behind you. Like every entryway, specifically into health care, there's someone behind you because the amount of education that's required to even get here. And so even as a new nurse, as an intern, there are other people in med school and nursing school that are looking up to you. There are nursing assistants that want to be a nurse, that want to be a doctor, as one of our panelists. There are always people both directions. And these are relationships that you want to foster. You want to have people at multiple stages in their career because they all have something different. They're all on your board of directors. So you see how this brings everything full circle. It's the same lessons that you're going to learn from every speaker, but it's intentional. It takes a team. And that's another message from SCCM that's in every talk, not just this room. And so as you develop these relationships and you develop trust, you learn that the best way to market yourself is by the people that you surround yourself with. And so you become more successful the more people around you that you help build to be successful. It's never the success of one person. And now our time is really done. So thank you, guys. I think this is a wonderful opportunity, being a part of this organization, to help develop those relationships. Thank you.

mentorship

self-awareness

building trust

constructive feedback

building relationships